Introduction
There are many reasons why you might be rushing into a relationship too quickly. One potential reason is a need to share resources. Financial instability, childcare and other burdens have you feeling like it’s necessary to partner up so you have someone to share resources with but before you do that, you need to consider some potential pitfalls. It’s time to hit the brakes and slow down because taking a step back can actually lead to greater security and fulfillment in your relationships.
Short Term Gains and Long Term Pains
It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking out a partner for financial stability or practical support. But rushing into a relationship for these reasons can actually backfire in the long run. Instead of building a strong foundation based on mutual respect and compatibility, you may find yourself in a situation where you’re dependent on someone else for your well-being. And when that foundation is shaky, it can lead to resentment, conflict, and ultimately, heartache. If you’re jumping into a relationship too quickly, the chances are pretty great that it won’t last. The American Psychological Association (APA) estimates that the probability of a first marriage ending in divorce within the first 10 years is approximately 33% in 2023.
Revealing Oneself Takes Time
So how do you avoid this pitfall? By slowing down and taking the time to truly get to know someone before committing to a relationship. Be curious and get to know the person you are dating in different seasons (yes, at least a year) and different situations. Observe how they react to stressors and how they treat others. Most people are on their best behavior when they’re getting to know someone. It can take a long time for them to reveal themselves. Partnering up for security may make sense in the short run but long term it can be incredibly difficult to disentangle resources.
You Think You Know Someone Until…
Beyond housing and belongings, how about sharing children and beloved pets? Keep this in mind when you find yourself rushing into a relationship: “Am I willing to risk disentangling our lives in the future with a person I barely know? Am I willing to share custody of my kids or fur babies with someone I haven’t seen in stressful situations yet?” If you haven’t had enough time, you don’t know the person and you can’t guess how they will react in the event of a breakup.
Conclusion
In conclusion, finding security in a relationship isn’t about rushing into it by seeking out a partner to help out with rent, childcare or other daily responsibilities. It’s about slowing down, taking the time to truly get to know someone. It’s about building trust over time and building a relationship based on mutual respect and compatibility. It requires a certain degree of creativity and garnering help from others and not relying on a new romantic partner to help out. By remaining curious and taking your time, you prioritize your own emotional and financial security.