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CJ’s Blog
You’re Not Alone in Feeling Lonely
Introduction Are you feeling alone, isolated and touch hungry? Well, you’re not the only one! A Harvard survey conducted in 2020 found that 61% of adults from 18 to 25 reported feeling serious loneliness, compared to 39% across the general population. Social isolation...
New Romantic Partners are Not the Answer to Financial Woes
Introduction There are many reasons why you might be rushing into a relationship too quickly. One potential reason is a need to share resources. Financial instability, childcare and other burdens have you feeling like it’s necessary to partner up so you have someone...
Switching from a Scarcity to Abundance Mindset while Dating
Introduction Dating can be exhausting! It can feel like you’re in a perpetual race against time and the finish line keeps moving ahead and out of reach. It’s common for people to rush into relationships when they have fear of missing out on their chance for love....
10 Foundational Frames to Avoid Hating Dating and Find A Great Partner
Tools for Your Dating Journey Introduction “That’s it, I give up!” How many times have you said this about dating? I know you’re tired of feeling frustrated and disillusioned with dating because I have experienced it myself. Trying to find a partner can seem like an...
Aging Audaciously: Giving Myself Permission
In my early forties I came to the realization that my marriage wasn’t going to last. After several years of child bearing and rearing, my desire for intimacy was raging but my husband wasn’t up for it. I oscillated between advocating for myself and taking solace in...
About CJ: A Certified Life and Sex Coach Living Life Coloring Outside the Lines
Hello, I'm CJ, a certified life and sex coach with a passion for living life coloring outside the lines. Today, I want to share the story of what led me to coaching and mentoring. At age 44 I separated from my husband and the father of my kids. We had both come to the...
Learning the Importance of Honoring Myself, My Needs and My Boundaries
Learning the Importance of Honoring Myself: The Monday after Thanksgiving in 1999, I pointed my sun-stained burgundy Honda Accord westward towards Los Angeles. I was leaving the city of Chicago for good. I had intentionally looked for work in L.A. to reunite with...
When you need to share a secret
How to have a difficult conversation with an intimate partner Good communication in relationships is something we desire but it’s not always something that we start with or have the tools to create. Many people find themselves in committed relationships before...
HSV and Dating
“Date your own” needs to go Whether you’re recently diagnosed or have been living with HSV (herpes simplex virus) for a long time, you are not alone. This can be a difficult thing to experience but you are in good company and it doesn’t have to impact your...
The Silent Sufferers of Toxic Masculinity
When I began preparing to work as a phone sex operator, I had an idea of what my clients would ask of me. The vast majority of the clients I serve are male identifying and probably cisgender. I market myself as a Femme Dom and a Mistress. For those who don’t know what...
Don’t Yuck My Yum
Can Sex Shaming Lead to Infidelity? How difficult is it for you to talk to your partner about your desires? Is talking about sex something you feel completely comfortable doing with them? If it isn’t comfortable, why is that? Have you been shamed by them for sharing a...