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CJ’s Blog
Yes, You Can Co-create Your D/s
Just in case you’re wondering if it’s possible, or acceptable, to envision what kind of D/s you’d like to have in the future… Absol- fucking- utely!!!!! If you are on the right side of the slash- the submissive- you might get twisted into thinking that you HAVE to...
Listen to Your Gut as a Sub
Are you someone who listens to your gut? How in tune are you to your nervous system and how someone makes you feel? Are you paying attention to the way your body reacts to them? Or is the lure of submission so strong that you’re shapeshifting to get them to want you?...
Submission Was The Balm I Craved As A Single Parent
I realized that I was craving a break from life. My most recent relationship had fallen far short of the D/s I began to crave and often felt like I was often mothering another child. As you can imagine, that was the last thing I wanted out of a relationship. Financial...
If you know one thing about me…
If there is one thing to know about me it’s that I am NOT a “let the chips fall where they may” kinda person. Even though I like to live my life doing things a little differently, I do not “let” things happen to me. I shift and evolve but I typically do so with...
EXTEND YOUR PLEASURESPAN: Own your agency and feel better in your body as you age
Follow me to own your AGENCY and take action with the goal of extending your PLEASURESPAN until the end of life! PLEASURESPAN = The span of time during your life that you are able to experience pleasure. AGENCY = Your ability to achieve a result through a change in...
You’re Not Alone in Feeling Lonely
Introduction Are you feeling alone, isolated and touch hungry? Well, you’re not the only one! A Harvard survey conducted in 2020 found that 61% of adults from 18 to 25 reported feeling serious loneliness, compared to 39% across the general population. Social isolation...
New Romantic Partners are Not the Answer to Financial Woes
Introduction There are many reasons why you might be rushing into a relationship too quickly. One potential reason is a need to share resources. Financial instability, childcare and other burdens have you feeling like it’s necessary to partner up so you have someone...
Switching from a Scarcity to Abundance Mindset while Dating
Introduction Dating can be exhausting! It can feel like you’re in a perpetual race against time and the finish line keeps moving ahead and out of reach. It’s common for people to rush into relationships when they have fear of missing out on their chance for love....
10 Foundational Frames to Avoid Hating Dating and Find A Great Partner
Tools for Your Dating Journey Introduction “That’s it, I give up!” How many times have you said this about dating? I know you’re tired of feeling frustrated and disillusioned with dating because I have experienced it myself. Trying to find a partner can seem like an...
Aging Audaciously: Giving Myself Permission
In my early forties I came to the realization that my marriage wasn’t going to last. After several years of child bearing and rearing, my desire for intimacy was raging but my husband wasn’t up for it. I oscillated between advocating for myself and taking solace in...
About CJ: A Certified Life and Sex Coach Living Life Coloring Outside the Lines
Hello, I'm CJ, a certified life and sex coach with a passion for living life coloring outside the lines. Today, I want to share the story of what led me to coaching and mentoring. At age 44 I separated from my husband and the father of my kids. We had both come to the...
Learning the Importance of Honoring Myself, My Needs and My Boundaries
Learning the Importance of Honoring Myself: The Monday after Thanksgiving in 1999, I pointed my sun-stained burgundy Honda Accord westward towards Los Angeles. I was leaving the city of Chicago for good. I had intentionally looked for work in L.A. to reunite with...
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